feeling kind of blah today. i don't really know why. i usually keep myself from going down a path that i know ends in being overwhelmed with negative feelings because i know what it feels like to go there. but, i guess i will just be honest with myself here. i really have felt the temptation to wander down this path of thinking that no one is really interested in what i have to say. i know in my head that is not the truth, but my feelings are telling me a different story. God uses me to minister to many people and i love that. i feel like He allows me to be used to make a difference in many people's lives. but, when it comes to people being interested in my life, i find a lull.
i know that people are consumed with their own hurts and needs. i understand that. i know that God is their answer to heal their wounds and listen to their life stories. i get that. i enjoy being a part of God intervening and showing His care and concern for those who need their sense of value presented to them. i love that. and, i realize that most of the time those people can't look past themselves to give in to someone else's life. so, in allowing myself to think and ponder into my thoughts and feelings, i see where the lies of the enemy were taking me and once again i refuse to go down that path. i just tasted the bitterness of self pity and spit it from my mouth and heart.
my sense of value comes from knowing that even if no one else is interested in me, whick i know is not really true, that God is. His thoughts toward me are endless. He loves me more than i can even imagine and He is always interested in me and what i have to say. He listens and responds and listens again. there is no one that could make me feel more special than Him. Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me to Truth. my heart is lighter even now. i feel a sense of joy and enlightenment that was absent just moments ago. the truth really does set me free!
3 days ago