i did not get much sleep last night. my lttle bubba (my baby boy) kept waking up and not really wanting to go back to sleep. he does usually still wake up about once a night. but, i usually pick him up, cuddle him a few minutes and lay him back down. usually he goes back to sleep pretty quickly. but, last night?? nooo!!! he just wanted me to hold him. he did not even want to lay down in bed with me, which is what i resort to other nights if he won't go right back to sleep. so, i held him and waited for him to nod off in my arms and laid him in his bed. but, the response was not "lala land" but instant tears. repeating this same scenario several times over about an hour, i was tempted to get frustrated. i was so tired myself. then, i remembered my other children and how big they have gotten, how fast it went, and how sad that made me. i began to think that it would not be very long before Jacob would not wake up in the middle of the night and want his mommy, he will be too big for me to cuddle in my arms, and that it would happen much faster than i wanted it to. so, i resolved to quit trying to make him go back to sleep in his bed and went downstairs to continue to hold him in my arms, just loving him and enjoying his little body snuggled up in my arms until we both fell asleep on the couch, a wonderful memory that i will hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life and his. waking up about an hour later, we both went back to our own beds. but, with a relaxed, peaceful mind instead of frustration and exhaustion. i look at him this morning and smile and realize why i love him so much. he is mine and he is just so darn cute. how could i resist him?
i am thoroughly enjoying every minute of my baby's life. it is going to go by way too fast. i know from experience. i love this little gift from God that has been given to my family. i am not going to let one minute go by and not savor it. i think having a baby so many years after my other children were past their baby years has caused me to appreciate every stage in his life so much more, because i see how fast all of those stages went by in my other kids. if anyone is wondering, i would recommend having a few children close together so they can grow up together and enjoy their siblings. but, save one for later in life when they are older, and so are you. so that you can stop and enjoy some of the moments you forgot to when you had so much going on you did not think you had time to. it is a wonderful experience for my older children as well. they are great with him and love him so much. can't imagine our lives without him and i'm going to savor every moment.
just some insights into my thoughts and feelings about my life and what God is revealing to me and how i am experiencing His grace and mercy in so many ways. please feel free to comment and share your heart here too. i'd love to hear from you. you never know whose life you just might touch with your insights as well.
My First Blog Entry March 27, 2009
laying my heart at the feet of Jesus well, here goes. not really sure how this is going to go but i do believe it is in my heart to begin to share some of the things that God is doing in my life and secrets that live in my heart. i've really been inspired by a blog that i have just begun to read by a young, sweet mommy (what she calls herself). happening upon her blog was not an accident but, i believe, a direction from the Lord. as i have read much of what she has written from her heart, i've been moved to tears and smiled a lot, enjoying partaking of what she has shared. wondering if anything that i have to share might move anyone as her writings have moved me, i thought that i just might let some of my heart be opened to those interested in hearing the secrets in the heart of a wife and mom who sometimes feels as if she might drown in the difficulties of raising five children if it weren't for my God who is ever so merciful and His Grace who is ever so powerful. as i write this, tears stream down my own face, thinking of some of the situations that i am laying at the feet of Jesus at this very moment in my life. this seems to make it plain to me that going forward with this new adventure of blogging may just be a way for God to continue to remind me of His love and His goodness toward me. open heart surgery, with God's love as the knife, that's kind of what it feels like. cutting away the dead, useless pieces and repairing it with His intense, unconditional love. i hope that a few people are touched and moved to sharing their lives as well by reading some of what i may reveal of myself as i continue to lay my heart at his feet and trust Him to keep it and make it whole.
i am a wife of 19 years to my wonderful husband, aaron. a mom of 6 precious children (josiah 17, rachel 16, olivia 14, amanda 12, jacob 3, & our newest addition, baby jonah, born may 18, 2011. my life is full and exciting as i depend upon God to empower me to take on the everyday tasks that are set before me. i love God with all my heart as He has revealed His amazing love for me. i love sharing many of the things He has shown me in a Bible study at my church. allowing Him to use me to unveil Truth is a very big part of my life. it is just all so "GOOD!"