tell me about it thursday

today's idea, from Sandy at one day at a time for the meme, tell me about it thursday, is "your first childhood memory." if you are interested in reading more posts on other people's first childhood memories, check out her blog and see who is joining us.

when i look at my life today, i recognize that so much of who i am today was shaped by my childhood. what happens to us, who loves us, the friends that we had, relationships that we encountered, and how we handled all of those things make us who we are today. children are sponges and soak up everything that they see, hear, touch, smell, taste, and everything that they experience spiritually. they soak it up, decipher it and either spit it back out as rejected truth or in their embraced reality. more often than not, in their embraced reality. i believe we, too often, just disregard the impact that goes on in children as they experience different things in their life thinking they're resilient because they are kids.

i remember knowing exactly what was going on in a lot of people's lives when i was a kid, just because i paid attention. i soaked up everything, deciphered it and spit it back out, one way or another. when i began to have children of my own, i remembered that about myself and have always tried to recognize what is going on all around my children as much as possible. but, then i can not control everything. so, that is where trusting God to take care of them comes along. i ask God everyday to place my children in the right places at the right time to make their circumstances help to shape them in His ways and i believe that He does that. thank you Lord.

i believe that it is very important, though, to realize that even as toddlers and preschoolers, memories affect many aspects of our lives. the very first memory that i have as a child was when i was around three. i lived in a trailer court with my mom and dad. i had awakened from a nap and got out of bed but i could not find my mom. i looked all around and called for her. she was not anywhere around. so, i opened the door and walked down the stairs and began to knock on everyone's door that i knew my mom went to see regularly. i remembered who they were. i remembered very well. i only got to one door until my mom found me. she had gone next door to the neighbor's for a minute and heard me calling for her. she came to get me and reassured me to never be afraid if i could not find her because she would always be close by, somewhere. that must have made me feel secure because this incident did not cause me to feel afraid or insecure for the rest of my childhood at all. and, it could have, if the reassurance from my mom had not made me feel loved and cared for. i don't remember exactly what she said, i just remember having the feeling of "ok." i felt convinced she would always be close by. i guess, i deciphered what i was told and embraced it as my reality. i was about three and i remember this event in my life very well. children remember more than we realize.