today's idea, from Sandy at one day at a time for the meme, tell me about it thursday, is "your first childhood memory." if you are interested in reading more posts on other people's first childhood memories, check out her blog and see who is joining us.
when i look at my life today, i recognize that so much of who i am today was shaped by my childhood. what happens to us, who loves us, the friends that we had, relationships that we encountered, and how we handled all of those things make us who we are today. children are sponges and soak up everything that they see, hear, touch, smell, taste, and everything that they experience spiritually. they soak it up, decipher it and either spit it back out as rejected truth or in their embraced reality. more often than not, in their embraced reality. i believe we, too often, just disregard the impact that goes on in children as they experience different things in their life thinking they're resilient because they are kids.
i remember knowing exactly what was going on in a lot of people's lives when i was a kid, just because i paid attention. i soaked up everything, deciphered it and spit it back out, one way or another. when i began to have children of my own, i remembered that about myself and have always tried to recognize what is going on all around my children as much as possible. but, then i can not control everything. so, that is where trusting God to take care of them comes along. i ask God everyday to place my children in the right places at the right time to make their circumstances help to shape them in His ways and i believe that He does that. thank you Lord.
i believe that it is very important, though, to realize that even as toddlers and preschoolers, memories affect many aspects of our lives. the very first memory that i have as a child was when i was around three. i lived in a trailer court with my mom and dad. i had awakened from a nap and got out of bed but i could not find my mom. i looked all around and called for her. she was not anywhere around. so, i opened the door and walked down the stairs and began to knock on everyone's door that i knew my mom went to see regularly. i remembered who they were. i remembered very well. i only got to one door until my mom found me. she had gone next door to the neighbor's for a minute and heard me calling for her. she came to get me and reassured me to never be afraid if i could not find her because she would always be close by, somewhere. that must have made me feel secure because this incident did not cause me to feel afraid or insecure for the rest of my childhood at all. and, it could have, if the reassurance from my mom had not made me feel loved and cared for. i don't remember exactly what she said, i just remember having the feeling of "ok." i felt convinced she would always be close by. i guess, i deciphered what i was told and embraced it as my reality. i was about three and i remember this event in my life very well. children remember more than we realize.
just some insights into my thoughts and feelings about my life and what God is revealing to me and how i am experiencing His grace and mercy in so many ways. please feel free to comment and share your heart here too. i'd love to hear from you. you never know whose life you just might touch with your insights as well.
My First Blog Entry March 27, 2009
laying my heart at the feet of Jesus well, here goes. not really sure how this is going to go but i do believe it is in my heart to begin to share some of the things that God is doing in my life and secrets that live in my heart. i've really been inspired by a blog that i have just begun to read by a young, sweet mommy (what she calls herself). happening upon her blog was not an accident but, i believe, a direction from the Lord. as i have read much of what she has written from her heart, i've been moved to tears and smiled a lot, enjoying partaking of what she has shared. wondering if anything that i have to share might move anyone as her writings have moved me, i thought that i just might let some of my heart be opened to those interested in hearing the secrets in the heart of a wife and mom who sometimes feels as if she might drown in the difficulties of raising five children if it weren't for my God who is ever so merciful and His Grace who is ever so powerful. as i write this, tears stream down my own face, thinking of some of the situations that i am laying at the feet of Jesus at this very moment in my life. this seems to make it plain to me that going forward with this new adventure of blogging may just be a way for God to continue to remind me of His love and His goodness toward me. open heart surgery, with God's love as the knife, that's kind of what it feels like. cutting away the dead, useless pieces and repairing it with His intense, unconditional love. i hope that a few people are touched and moved to sharing their lives as well by reading some of what i may reveal of myself as i continue to lay my heart at his feet and trust Him to keep it and make it whole.
i am a wife of 19 years to my wonderful husband, aaron. a mom of 6 precious children (josiah 17, rachel 16, olivia 14, amanda 12, jacob 3, & our newest addition, baby jonah, born may 18, 2011. my life is full and exciting as i depend upon God to empower me to take on the everyday tasks that are set before me. i love God with all my heart as He has revealed His amazing love for me. i love sharing many of the things He has shown me in a Bible study at my church. allowing Him to use me to unveil Truth is a very big part of my life. it is just all so "GOOD!"