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Saturday, August 29, 2009

finding peace

Lord, give me wisdom. Lord, help me find peace.

i continue to ask God to give me wisdom as i come up against challenges with my teenagers. it seems like the only time that they give me any problems at all is when they have to do something they don't want to do when they don't want to do it or they are not getting to do something that they want to do when they want to do it.

i remember being a teen.

life was all about having fun and going out and being with my friends.

i remember.

i remember wanting to get my way and being frustrated when i didn't get it.

i remember.

i remember thinking that my mom did not know what she was talking about most of the time.

i remember.

i remember not wanting to do what my mom told me to do when she wanted me to. i wanted to do it when i wanted to.

i remember.

it wasn't that long ago.

but, i was still wrong.

i was wrong to think that i should be able to get my way when i was told it was not going to be able to work out this time.

i was wrong.

i was wrong to think i knew more than my parents.

i was wrong.

i was wrong to not immediately do what my mom asked me to do.

i was wrong.

i didn't think so then, but now i can see it so clearly. hindsight is definitely 20/20.

just because i remember what it was like, doesn't mean that i condone the selfish, inappropriate behavior that is frequently found in a teenagers life.

remember, i said i was wrong then.

disrespect, selfishness, and rudeness is absolutely uncalled for and ungodly. i have no desire to live in a home with teenagers that are unable or unwilling to look inside themselves and recognize wrong behavior or attitudes that need to be dealt with.

but, like i said before, i remember the thoughts of self righteousness that raced through my mind when things did not go my way.

i remember.

there was no way that i would have seen the error of my ways by any gentle or harsh reminder from my parents. so, i know that it is not me who is going to be the One that is going to move in the hearts and minds of my teenagers to cause them to see Truth.

it is not me who is going to be able to convince them that they are wrong in any way.

it is not me.

it is not me who will birth respect and honor for authority in their hearts.

it is not me.

it is not me who will create in them a pure heart that loves God and others more than they love themselves.

it is not me.

i can not do that.

believe me, i have already tried to do that job and i have failed.

i failed because it was not my job to do.

but, in failure i have hope.

because the imperfect one, me, has turned the job over to the Perfect One.

i am off the hook.

my hope is in the Lord now.

the first step in me being able to experience the fruit of godly behavior in my teenagers is to trust them to the One who manufactures that fruit in the first place.

He bears the fruit in them.

He does the work.

He gets the glory.

and, i get peace.



Lord my children were your babies before they were mine. You love them more than even i do. i trust them to You. create in them a heart that longs for you and desires to please you. woo them by your love. open their eyes and their ears and help them to experience Truth. draw their hearts to your will. amen!

48 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

Your attitude is perfect. praying for them and allowing Him to change them is the only way real change will take place. Wonderful post for all us Moms that are not quite there yet with the teens to read for later. Thanks!

Sarah Dawn said...

A sweet prayer from a mom's heart, touches me today and I know touches your children. Placing our precious ones in the hands of the Lord, the best place to be.

Encouragement for the future for this young mom. Thank you.

With mommy hugs,
Sarah Dawn

Kee said...

Wow, I love the way you look at this and is so very true. Mine are still small and I have problems just turning them over to HIM but your post has really turned my way of thinking around. You have to put them in God's hands, it's the hardest thing for me to do but I know I have to.
Thank you Christy for all your insightfull posts.

Warren Baldwin said...

It's helpful for me to remember that God loves my kids even more than I am able to.

Lori said...

Great post. And let me tell you, I'm right there with ya. I have two (soon to have 3!) great teenagers. Most of the time they are very fun, sweet and loving. But the attitudes rear their ugly heads once in a while. Mostly though, I remember how hormonal they are...remind them to be respectful...and that I'm their Mom and not their friend.

Our pastor just did a two part series on praying for our kids. I mean, REALLY praying for them. They are in a world where spiritual battles are at a height that none of us have experienced.

And so I join you in praying for our children...that they would hunger and thirst for righteousness, that they would quickly feel the sting of sin (should they indulge in wrong things), that they would hear clearly God's call on their lives, that their eyes would be wide open to the deceit that the enemy would try to fool them with, and that they would be strong godly leaders...not blind followers of their peers.

Karen said...

Oh Christy Rose, this was such a good post! Raising teenagers is so hard, but like you wrote, it is not intended (or possible) for us to do it alone...loved your closing three lines....

Mich said...

Amen.

Beautiful prayer that could be my own...

right now my daughter is learning the hard way that when mom and dad say "no" that there are even worse consequences for sassing, rudeness, slamming doors and talking back. It is so hard being a mom sometimes. Thank goodness the blessings are so great.

Praying with you...

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

As you know, I don't have teens yet, but my two sons almost 11 and almost 9 are already starting to display some attitude. I can't believe how difficult it is already.

You are doing the right thing. Praying and asking God's wisdom is the only way. He knows and loves our children better than we do.

I was a "quietly" rebellious teen. I was not a godly person even though I was a Christian. I was selfish and angry since I was 10 years old. I was vengeful towards my mother. I pray my children will not have to go through what I did.

RCUBEs said...

Teenage years are awkward time for them. They want to show their independence but we know they are not fully capable yet.

I am inspired with the way you are dealing with it, putting this on His loving hands.

Praying that the Lord will guide you with His wisdom and give discernment and protection over your children. Blessings to you sister.

Andrea said...

AMEN!

The teenage years can be horrid. I often joke with friends and say if you gave birth to a teenager there would not be overpopulation b/c we would all only have one child.

Blessings, andrea

Linda said...

Beautifully said Christy Rose. Those are not easy years, but I know you will get through it with Lord.
Before you know it - those teenage years will be behind you and you will have wonderful adult children who delight your heart.
This too shall pass!!

Laura Brown said...

Do you feel that being a teenager is a training ground set up by God to ready us for adulthood? Teens go through numerous trials - many of them emotional rather than physical - and face many temptations of all kinds. With loving guidance and discipline from their parents God helps them mature into God seeking adults that can stand the trials that we conquer in our everyday lives.

chili pepper said...

Hi, Christy Rose.

What a wonderful reflection and a creative way to share it. We learned things like that in school and I always wondered what we would do with it. Here in blog world I wish I remembered more than the straightforward stuff. What interesting posts it makes!

I have been blessed with my teens so far and have enjoyed the bridge as we move from parent/teacher/student status to friends. Of course only time will tell how it all turns out. praying every day. That's my best!

Kat

Kristin said...

Perfectly said, Christy!

Heart2Heart said...

Christy,

This is so true and I wonder why the mystery remains for all teens during those years. Perhaps it is the lesson to be learned and later the recognition that you did go through something and now here is what it was.

Teens are impulsive and their minds and emotions are still developing from an attitude of expecting things to learning to do it for themselves.

This is the most difficult of all transitions from child to adult and so much has to be learned. I am thankful God gives parents help in that area and may we always continue to pray for our kids and keep the Bible close at hands.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

My son is going on six and I'm praying this prayer with you! Thank you for sharing. God bless you and yours!

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear Christy Rose,

How beautifully and how simply you poured your heart out on this post. I can read between the lines, the things you did not write, and dear friend, I can definitely relate.

Amazing, your thoughts were the very thoughts that went through my heart this morning as I began to think of my First Born son, now a 29 year old young man, no longer a teen... BUT still having many unresolved spiritual issues in his heart. This has been weighing heavily upon my heart.

I loved your post. It was a timely reminder, and confirmation as well.

Love
Lidj

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I understand; I remember too. God is ever faithful to walk us through these times of difficult parenting. I experienced a few of my own this weekend with a 20 & 18 year old. Been on my knees ... A LOT! Charles Stanley did an awesome message this morning on parenting; I'll try and get the title for you. It blessed my heart so and reminded me of my sacred responsibility to parent, despite the difficulties that come my way.

Hang in there; you're not alone.

peace~elaine

McCrakensx4 said...

What a wonderful post! I am dreading the teen years, but your insight has given me hope! Giving it all to Him, everything, is the most important thing. Thanks for sharing...

Kerri said...

Not looking forward to those years! I to have learned that I can't change anyone. But God can. You can just be ther example and then the rest is up to Him. And the great thing about it is He does it!

Wendy Blight said...

Christy Rose,

My name is Wendy Blight. On my visit to Sharon Sloan's blog today (she is a precious friend to me) I saw your words desiring a "pure" heart. They blessed me so and encouraged me to pray that for myself today. Then I traveled over here to your blog, and how thankful I am.

I am the mother of a wonderful teenage daughter, Lauren, who is 2 weeks away from 16 and LOVED your post. It's as if you wrote it just for me. Your words encouraged me. Thank you for being so authentic and for reminding me Who is in charge!!

I am praying your beautiful prayer as I leave your post today.

So thankful the Lord brought me to you today! I will come back again.

Blessings,

Wendy
www.wendyblight.com

Charlotte said...

Hi Christy Rose,

Oh how I remember thinking that my parent's (especially my Dad) didn't understand me. I was always the black sheep of the family. The good news is someday we snap out it.

I'm really am looking forward to following your posts and getting to know you and your sweet family. May the Holy Sprit bless your HOME with love and joy this week!

In Jesus name,
Charlotte

LisaShaw said...

Christy,

GOD is faithful. He hears your prayers for your children. I stand in agreement for you and your children in prayer.

Stay encouraged in Christ. Stay grounded in His word and asking HIM for wisdom as you are, is so important. Wisdom, peace, patience...

Blessings and love...

Sneaky Momma said...

I like your attitude about raising teenagers. We dread the day when that time rolls around in our household. 2 girls a year and a half apart. Whew! Makes me tired just thinking about it!
It's fun to think that one of these days they will have a mind all of their own and will be making decisions for themselves. I cannot wait to see the kind young ladies they will become.
I would love to skip those teenage years, though! :)

E @ Scottsville said...

Yea, I've got a 19 year old and a 17 year old. So I'm in the midst of it too!

I was actually one of those odd-balls who thought my mom was smart. I respected her and her opinion. I followed the rules and was that 'ideal' teenager. You could even ask her! So now my teens are NOT like I was and I don't have a CLUE how to handle it cuz I don't "remember" being there. I don't get it, and that makes it even harder. *sigh*

I'm hoping at least ONE of my kids is good to me as a teen! We shall see.

Darcie said...

You said it so beautifully!

I think we as parents(speaking for myself), I need to have a better attitude towards teenagers. It is hard, but they are growing...growing is NEVER easy.

They as teenagers are really asked to make the biggest of decisions in life with the least amount experience behind them. They make right ones, and then sometimes they will make wrong ones(just like us parents). If they can see we trust God fully with our lifes then it will also encourage them to trust God with their lifes.

Thanks for the reminder.

Crown of Beauty said...

Praying all is well with you dear friend.

Please hop over to my Aug 31 post when you have a bit of time.

THere is something there to encourage your heart.

Love
Lidj

Anonymous said...

Christy,
What an absolutely beautiful writing! It's as if God sent me to it to get through a terrible, terrible day with my 16 year old. Your blog thing is incredible! So inspired, so touched by the Holy Spirit! I always knew you were a beautiful person, and this just once again confirms that! Thank you for touching my life once again. Miss and love you, friend.
Darcy
P.S. Where's Josiah in all of the pics? What a beautiful family--and you look more gorgeous than ever

Anonymous said...

wow, sister that was wonderful...it touched me inside ...thanks for sharing.....and I agree with your prayer...God is a wonderful Father, perfect in everyway....I know that He is well able to change hearts when you trust Him and leave it in His hands!!! I love you very much.....Mom

Daveda said...

AMEN! We can curb the behavior with force, but, that does nothing to change their hearts. What a great post my friend, so true, so true. This was a wonderful reminder for me, as I too am stepping into life with teens...Didn't I already do this once...*sigh* LOL the good news is the next two times around I know what you said "turn the job over to the perfect one"

Great Post Christy!

Thanks for your comments about my grandma. And, than you for the friendship, I am going to find it right now. Love you :)

Tara said...

Congratulations! You won my Handy Doctor Set giveaway! Email me at heely22@gmail.com with your contact information (name, email address and mailing address)!

Now I need to go back and read this post. I was away from my computer this weekend!

Tara said...

I remember my hateful words to my parents and my sassy mouth because I knew way more than they did or ever would. My way was right and they were just trying to make me miserable. Hindsight is definitely 20/20 and I am so thankful for my parents teaching me right from wrong and raising me in a Christian home.

Loren said...

Christy,

This post was amazing and spoke right to my heart! Laying our children ~ NO ~ giving our children to the Lord day after day is the ONLY way. It seems I have had countless "teachable moments" and conversations this summer and remind my kids this is our job to teach them in the way they should go and I don't want to fail the Lord or fail my children by not doing this.
Thankyou for sharing, for reminding and for pointing each of us to JESUS and to our Father who will lead us and them in HIS WAYS....give all of us "ears to hear Lord and hearts that would obey"

Love you Christy ~
p.s. you asked if my brother was a believer....the answer sadly is no. He will be here tomorrow and we have had some situations arise with dad that in my flesh cause Fear and am begging for Salvation but the Holy Spirit is with me and I am crying out resting in knowing that JESUS is interceding for me and for my Dad! Just like this post HE loves my dad even more than I :)

Jenn@Spejory said...

What a beautiful prayer, truly from the heart.

~*Michelle*~ said...

wow.....great post.

Your children could not be in better Hands than where you are turning them to. I will pray with you that their eyes and hearts are open to His wisdom. I pray that He pours into their hearts and you will witness great change.

I too have an almost 16 and 18 year old....I thank God every night that they are good kids. Are they perfect? nope
Do they get mouthy, selfish, disrespectful? absolutely.

But I know and trust that they love God and I am raising them the best I can for Him and have to just trust in His promise. He is for us, not against us....and as you said, these are His children.

praying Christy Rose!
xox

Daveda said...

Hello friend, I was just wondering where you are...I have seen you post a comment or two hear and there, so I know you are here somewhere.

Where oh where did Christy go...Where oh where could she be...Where oh where did Christy go, why haven't you been by to visit me?? LOL

I just miss ya! And, love ya! Stop by and say hello when you have minute :) (((hugs)))

Julie said...

Christy,
Currently being the mom of 3 teenagers, and one to go... another who's passed through already... I understand your words all too well.

It truly comes down to trusting Him... with it all..
I am constantly reminding my teenagers... "this isn't who you are inside." "I know you really don't want to go here." The more I call out to who they really are the more easily they can see what choices they are making.

I really do understand.....

Mocha Momma said...

I have an award for you. Come on over and pick it up you deserve it.
Thanks,
Nannette

LisaShaw said...

Just wanted you to know Christy I was praying for you and your teens tonight.

Peace, wisdom, obedience, love, unity, understanding, patience, and all the blessings and favor of the LORD upon your loving and precious family.

Proverbs 27:19 said...

Hi Christy!

I've been here before! I do not remember whose site I linked to yours from but I tried to leave a comment but my computer was not cooperating with me.

I'm so glad that you stopped by to visit me and that you like what you see! I'll be sticking around your blog for a while as well!

smooches,
Larie

septembermom said...

Your words today help me in countless ways. I've been having some difficulty with my oldest son lately. We are arguing more these days. I will say this beautiful prayer to ease my heart. Thank you Christy Rose! I love your blog :)

Adeye said...

Okay--so I'm just checking in on you. You're on my heart. Is everything okay??? I miss your sweet posts, friend.

Saleslady371 said...

Raising teens can be a real challenge, but it is an exciting time, too, as they step out in their own faith! You are a wise mom to depend on the Lord to bring you through!

Tea With Tiffany said...

I remember too.

And yes, HE does the work. You and me and the rest of the parents of teens out there are off the hook. Thank you, Lord.

Sorry about the battle you have at home with your teens. I pray peace and more peace over your home. God, come and whisper words of hope to Christy Rose. Open up her kids eyes so they may see and know You are God and they are not. Make them into the precious children of God that You have planned for them. Be big and mighty as we know You are. You are able to do miracles in hearts. We love You, Jesus. Amen.

Hugs, friend. I've missed you.

Tammy On the Go said...

I don't want this time of my life to come too soon. I sat with a friend's 17 year old daughter yesterday becuase she was leaving for TX today to visit her boyfriend. We talked about purity and choices and loving God more than the World. My 3 year old ran by as we were talking and I pointed to her and said, YOu see "K", you will always be that to your mom. She is not sending her 17 year old daughter away, she is sending her baby away. She just smiled and agreed.
Tough times, I told her she had to make right choices because in 10 years she was going to be having this conversation with my daughter for me....

Hope said...

Dear Christy Rose,

I always trusted my mother completely in her decisions for me because I knew that she always thought through her decisions carefully and only did what she thought was in my best interest. I can honestly say that she is the best example of God’s love for me that I have ever known. I also know that I have not accomplished the same relationship with my children. I don’t know what is missing, but like you, I do know that our children are in God’s hands, and He is able to do wonderful things in their lives…we just need to continue to do the best we can to show them God’s love, and keep praying for them.
Praise God for His marvelous works, and to Him be all the glory!

♥Hope

wife.mom.nurse said...

Thank you for sharing this.

Wonderful insight.

I hope I will not be like a teenager, in the way they can only learn from their own mistakes.

I hope to take away pearls of wisdom like this and store them in my treasure chest for when we get to these same moments...it won't be long now.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

I just printed this post off!!! I need to remember this for when my boys become teenagers. God is the only one who can change them and you are soooo right on your points

Praying for you to have wisdom and understanding!!! ;)