one of the most difficult things that i have found in raising five children is making sure that i keep depth in the relationships with all of them individually. i know that i can take care of them and meet all of their needs on a daily basis as far as feeding them and getting them where they need to go. but, taking the time to maintain a deep and intimate relationship with each and every one of them can be difficult with many children. it seemed to be easier when they were younger too, because their whole life was at home. they did not have life outside of me and their dad and church. as they have all gotten older, they have friends and other things to do that take up a large portion of their time as well. i understand that is perfectly natural. i remember that time coming in my life when i was younger too. but, in that, i find my struggle. i need to be more strategic in planning my time with them.
as kids become teens, they begin to develop their own sense of self. they begin to try to spread their wings and fly. they aren't quite ready for that yet, because they are still kids and not adults, yet! so, they fail when they try. it is kind of like a baby bird setting out to try out his wings before they are ready. they fall quickly to the ground and the momma bird swoops down and picks them back up into the nest. then they try again. it is my job to help them be ready when the time approaches for them to fly. i am to let them have practice flights so that they are well practiced and prepared when the time to fly comes. but, along the way, the little birdies sometimes think they are ready to fly already and begin to resent the momma bird for not letting them fly off solo. this is when it is necessary that the momma steps up and continues to remind the babies that she loves them more than life itself. talking and reminding them of that rather than just saying "not yet" all the time continues the relationship and builds trust between them.
i have a few little birdies trying their wings at our home right now. so, recently, i have been asking the Lord to help me to be led by Him in developing ways that i can have more meaningful times with each of them individually. i feel like the Lord has directed me to take each of my children individually, at least once each month, out to spend time loving on them and doing things that they like to do. listening to them and sharing our hearts will continue to build our hearts together. that is a pleasure that i long to have with them forever. i believe that will also make it easier for them to recognize wisdom in knowing the proper time to practice flying and the proper time to continue resting up at home. in the last few weeks, i have taken each one of my kids out shopping for school clothes individually. then, we went out to lunch together. no one else. just one at a time and me! it was wonderful! i was able to bless them with clothes and shoes that they wanted and we were able to talk and enjoy each other's company. i think this kind of time with them is so important because i could tell that they felt loved and listened to. and, i believe it will help to establish more trust in me for the next flying lesson.
3 days ago