six years ago, aaron and i decided that we were going to put our kids in public school. it was a very hard decision for me. i had homeschooled all of my kids up to that point and i felt like by sending them into the world for schooling, i was sending my babies, whom i had mothered and protected, into a den of hungry lions ready to pounce on them and devour them. it was a very heartwrenching thing for me to do until i had settled in my heart that they were not going into the lions den on their own. they were going to be just as protected there as they were in my home because they were encompassed in the care of my God. He is a much better mother and protector than i could ever be. and, He could be with them all of the time, while i could not.
i remember talking to the Lord one day before we had come to this decision and i was crying because i knew that it was time for me to be done teaching my children at home and yet it frightened me so. it was time for my youngest daughter to go to kindergarden and i was already teaching my older three kids and beginning to struggle under the pressure of having to accomplish so much teaching at different levels in one day. i was feeling overwhelmed with the idea of adding Amanda's lessons to my already-behind daily schedule. what should i do? should i continue to stuggle? believe God to empower me to take on the extra lesson time? send them to public school and trust God to protect them? maybe the time had come to let them venture into the world and take their Jesus with them? but, it still hurt my heart to know that what i had protected them from up to that point was going to be thrown right in their face. i did not want my sweet, innocent children to be influenced by the ugly, harsh world. i wanted to know that they would be able to stand in the midst of worldliness with their heart connected strongly to their God fulfilling the destiny upon their life of shining the character of Jesus in that dark place, not them be pulled into the worldiness and leave their beliefs behind for acceptance of the world they were entering into.
i remember vividly where i was when i felt God speak to my heart and say, "christy, whatever you decide to do, they will be ok. I will be with them. they hear My voice, they will follow Me." with tears streaming down my face and a burden so heavily upon my heart being lifted, i found myself relax in His word of promise to me. i knew that He would keep them in the midst of all the evil in the world. He would protect them. He would bring them through and empower them to live in Him. from that point forward, i have had peace in sending my children to school.
i can't say that i haven't had to remind myself and God of what He told me that day several times. but, overall i have been able to trust God to keep them as they leave home and venture into the lion's den everyday. and, as they are getting older now, i feel as if God is helping me to teach them that it is important for them to look to Him to meet all of their needs and to recognize the deception of the enemy in looking to substitutes to be first place in their life. I John 5:21 tells us all to do the same with our own heart as well. thank you Jesus for being with my children each day and preserving them for your glory. thank you for giving my heart rest as i trust You to keep your promise.
4 days ago