"do you love her?"

as i listened on the phone, the voice on the other end kept saying to me, "i have done so much! i have done everything that she asks of me! she never seems to see the good things that i do! she only sees the bad! i am not perfect! i am not saying that. but, any time i don't do something exactly like she wants, she flies off the handle and rips me up one end and down the other! she has no idea how good that she has it! anyone else would have been done with her by now!

"do you love her?"

"would i be doing all of this if i didn't?"

"do you really?"

"what?"

"all of the things that you say you have done are wonderful and sweet. but, you are expecting something in return for them. you are expecting to be rewarded for them. you are expecting her to treat you the same way.

"yah?!!!"

"that is not true love! that is selfish love! that is you doing something for someone so that you get something for yourself. it is self love! true love does not boast or exalt itself in any way. it does not promote or insist on its own way and it takes no account of the wrong that is done to it. it expects nothing in return. true love is all about the one loved, not trying to get loved in return."

~~~~silence~~~~

"are you there?"

"yah! i'm here."

"do you understand what i am saying?"

~~~~silence~~~~~~

"hello?"

"how? how is it possible to be able to do that?"

"it is possible only through the One who is Love! it is only as you find your completion in your relationship with Love Himself, coming to a fuller and fuller depth of understanding of His love for you that you will be able to love in that way. God truly loves you! He is never frustrated or angry that you do not do what He tells you to do. He only sees you as wonderful and great! He does not count your wrongs against you. He is all about you! loving you! blessing you! expressing His love for you! desiring to see you develop into the destiny that He has planned for you. it never changes! you can't make it stop! no matter how good or bad you are, no matter if you accept it or reject it, no matter what, true Love remains."

~~~silence~~~~

"are you there?"

"it's overwhelming! I just can't grasp it!"

"a person never feels truly loved unless they know that everything that is good and not good about them is known by someone and they STILL absolutely adore them and think that they are wonderful. that kind of love moves and changes people."

"as i think about that, i realize how little i know that God loves me."

"the only hope you have is to find what you are looking for in God's love. and, it is only then that you can truly let it flow from you. stop tying to fix everything yourself and let God's uncondtional, powerful, life changing Love complete you and transform you."

"thanks"

"you are welcome."

"no, i mean it. thanks. you could have told me so many things that would have seemed to be good and right. but, i know that this is what i needed to hear. i thought i knew that God loved me. i thought i knew what love was. i thought i knew how to love. i can see now that i haven't even got a clue."

((((smiles)))))"recognizing that is the best place you could be. you have gotten down to the foundation of everything. starting there, you have a chance and so does she."