My Family


Friday, September 11, 2009

"do you love her?"

as i listened on the phone, the voice on the other end kept saying to me, "i have done so much! i have done everything that she asks of me! she never seems to see the good things that i do! she only sees the bad! i am not perfect! i am not saying that. but, any time i don't do something exactly like she wants, she flies off the handle and rips me up one end and down the other! she has no idea how good that she has it! anyone else would have been done with her by now!

"do you love her?"

"would i be doing all of this if i didn't?"

"do you really?"


"all of the things that you say you have done are wonderful and sweet. but, you are expecting something in return for them. you are expecting to be rewarded for them. you are expecting her to treat you the same way.


"that is not true love! that is selfish love! that is you doing something for someone so that you get something for yourself. it is self love! true love does not boast or exalt itself in any way. it does not promote or insist on its own way and it takes no account of the wrong that is done to it. it expects nothing in return. true love is all about the one loved, not trying to get loved in return."


"are you there?"

"yah! i'm here."

"do you understand what i am saying?"



"how? how is it possible to be able to do that?"

"it is possible only through the One who is Love! it is only as you find your completion in your relationship with Love Himself, coming to a fuller and fuller depth of understanding of His love for you that you will be able to love in that way. God truly loves you! He is never frustrated or angry that you do not do what He tells you to do. He only sees you as wonderful and great! He does not count your wrongs against you. He is all about you! loving you! blessing you! expressing His love for you! desiring to see you develop into the destiny that He has planned for you. it never changes! you can't make it stop! no matter how good or bad you are, no matter if you accept it or reject it, no matter what, true Love remains."


"are you there?"

"it's overwhelming! I just can't grasp it!"

"a person never feels truly loved unless they know that everything that is good and not good about them is known by someone and they STILL absolutely adore them and think that they are wonderful. that kind of love moves and changes people."

"as i think about that, i realize how little i know that God loves me."

"the only hope you have is to find what you are looking for in God's love. and, it is only then that you can truly let it flow from you. stop tying to fix everything yourself and let God's uncondtional, powerful, life changing Love complete you and transform you."


"you are welcome."

"no, i mean it. thanks. you could have told me so many things that would have seemed to be good and right. but, i know that this is what i needed to hear. i thought i knew that God loved me. i thought i knew what love was. i thought i knew how to love. i can see now that i haven't even got a clue."

((((smiles)))))"recognizing that is the best place you could be. you have gotten down to the foundation of everything. starting there, you have a chance and so does she."


chili pepper said...

Christy Rose,

How true this is. I tried for so long to love my not very kind mother but was never able to really do so until I found the Lord. Gave my life to Him. And asked Him to show me to love as He loves me, unworthy though I am. Do I still struggle with it? Of course, I am but a mere sinful human, but not near as much as I used to. And in the process He has protected my heart from the bitterness that overcame her life and the lives of others I love so dearly.

Tracy Wagman said...

Cool post!

RCUBEs said...

Catchy title..."Do you love her?" I was thinking "love who?"... but even deeper with the post's reminder what the true meaning of love is...Blessings to you sister! Have a great weekend.

Crown of Beauty said...

As we remember 9 11 let us look up in hope for our redemption draws near.

I have dedicated my Sept 11 post to all my American friends.

Mary said...

Wow Christy - I'm in tears. Awesome. Just Beautiful.

Warren Baldwin said...

I wish I had read this post and hour ago! I just had a conversation with a man in similar circumstances, who has tried to do so much to keep a marriage and family together yet his wife still wants a separation (and maybe divorce). He is filled with anger right now and is not thinking spiritually at all, though he is a Christian. I need to call him back and remind him about what real love is. Great post.

Andrea said...


Your timing was definitely GODS timing, today. I needed to hear these words. Thank you for being a faithful servant of Christ.
Blessings, andrea

Heart2Heart said...


This is a great testament to the definition of unconditional love. Once you can find yourself loving others that way, not only will you yourself become blessed by God but others will see it as well and receive that blessing.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Kristin said...

Awesome post! This is what the Lord has been teaching me lately....that love is not about whether someone "deserves it" or not. Love has to be unconditional, or it's not love.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!!

Beth E. said...

Praising God for HIS love!

Karen said...

Loved this "conversation"...true love only comes from knowing the one "True Love"...Christy Rose, you have blessed my heart!

Anonymous said...

I love this part: "a person never feels truly loved unless they know that everything that is good and not good about them is known by someone and they STILL absolutely adore them and think that they are wonderful." That is the core of parenting and sometimes it is soo hard. At particular seasons, I have prayed for God to show me how to love a child because they weren't very lovable. However, we are to love you said--seeing all the warts and blemishes in behavior and love still.

The most power part comes in the next sentence: "that kind of love moves and changes people." The kind of love you describe--it's a love that hopes and a faith that speaks for the mountain to be moved. Sometimes that's the only way to get through a stage or challenge.

Your post has so blessed me! Thank you!

Mich said...

i loved this. It is so true. I have to ask myself, "why" I do what I do?


Anonymous said...

Dear Christy Rose,

How wonderful this post is! So much packed in here…great job! I think I will go give myself a talking to...I sometimes forget that I am not supposed to be looking for what I should be getting in return. ☺


Kari @ p.s. said...

Beautiful post.

He & Me + 3 said... true. What a special love our Father has for His children. One we just cannot grasp but yet accept.

Tara said...

I am thankful for that true love. I am so undeserving!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Thank you for the good reminder. God is LOVE!

Girl in a Glass House said...

We are unable to grasp Gods love...even though an extention of it was to give His only Son over to a brutal death as a pledge of His devotion.

But we are not God. We find it impossible to love without expectations of love in return. It is in fact,not a decision that we make...we cannot say "OK I will love like God". It is instead a place we come to after brokeness before Him. He must pour in the possibility...we must open our mouths to drink it in.

Pam said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. SO many times we do expect something in return instead of just loving others like God has loved us.
This is a reminder that we all need!

Daveda said...

Christy, What a beautiful truth this is. What a wonderful post, but even better yet, what a wonderful blessing to have friends that can speak this truth into your life. I may not have been the one on the phone, yet, I am blessed by the heart of your friendship by reading through this post.

I am continually learning this lesson. As well as, the more I realize that God is loving me and not judging me, the less I feel the need to judge others and can just love them!

Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Amazing, again! Christy, it's as if God speaks to me personally every time I read your writings. What an anointing you have! Thank you!

Linda said...

It is a love that is unconditional - an amazing love.
Beautifully said Christy Rose.

E @ Scottsville said...

Beautifully written...

Anonymous said...

wow, what a powerful conversation....I hope it bears fruit.

Jennifer W. said...

Wow. What a great conversation. Thanks for sharing it!
Jen said...

Yes, what a great reminder of how important it is to be unconditional, just as our Lord it!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...


Angela said...

This was FILLED with truth!!I've had the same conversation..the Holy Spirit and I. I still remember way back when it happened....

Miss Charlene said...

Wow, great post! There's someone I would like to forward this to too!

Beth in NC said...

So true!!!