it is kinda of amazing raising five kids and seeing how differently each and every one of them are. they all have certain strengths and weaknesses in their character and personality. josiah is my strong, quiet son. he usually will not offer up conversation to you on his own, but if you set out to ask him questions and get to know him and he knows that it is because you are really interested, he will open up and share his heart with you. rachel is talkative, emotional and deep. you really do not have to ask her much about herself. she willingly offers up her heart and wisdom to anyone who will listen. olivia is my strong willed child, which has its pros and cons. she has a strength about her that is immovable. you might call it determination on the positive side or it could just be called stubborn. i can truly see God using this part of her to accomplish great things as she continues to grow up. amanda is more like josiah in that she is mostly quiet. but, she has a silly side that causes us all to laugh really hard sometimes. she does not talk a whole lot but when she does, she usually talks really fast so she can get it all in before someone interrupts her. i think that is the result of living in a large family with lots of people having something to say. and jacob, i think he is going to be our most social child of all. he is friendly and says hi to everyone. he likes to do silly things and make us all laugh too, which happens a lot. it will be interesting to meet our newest addition to our family soon and watch him as his personality develops as well.
each one of my children are definitely different and unique in their own way. but, they all also have one thing in common, along with every other person ever born. they want and need to be unconditionally loved and adored, a need that if not met is crippling. the problem with that is many times i see them looking for that adoration and acceptance from others who are in need of the same thing themselves and are incapable of offering it up. even as their mom, i can find myself so involved in their behavior that the joy and satisfaction i have within my heart for them gets lost in communication. so, it is important that they do not look only to me or their dad to meet that need either. there is only One who can offer that unconditional adoration perfectly and that is their Heavenly Father. despite their behavior and in the midst of everything, He longs to shower them with the joy that His heart feels for them. He thinks they are wonderful and beautiful!! He rejoices over them and sings over them!! they bring Him great satisfaction and delight because and only because they are His children! His thoughts of great delight never cease because His satisfaction comes only from Who He is and who He has made them to be, His beautiful creation, His children! "the Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior (Who saves)! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest (in silent satisfaction) and in His love He will be silent and make no mention (of past sins, or even recall them); He will exult over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17)
as they, as well as myself, come to know that Truth deeper and deeper in our hearts, we will be able to function as whole persons, able to pass along that same kind of acceptance toward others instead of craving it from them. i long for my kids to walk in the capacity of health and security that God created and desires for all of us to. i want to see them rise and walk out a happy and successful life. it breaks my heart when i see them crippled by a lack of understanding of God's unconditional love for them. so, i pray that God will continue to open their eyes and my own and help us to understand His ecstatic heart of joy that He feels for us every minute of every day so that need is met in us. then, we can be whole and experience the benefits of living as a child of God with... a healed and uncrippled heart!
"now to Him Who is able to keep you without stumbling or slipping or falling, and to present you unblemished (blameless and faultless) before the presence of His glory in triumphant joy and exultation (with unspeakable, ecstatic delight)." (Jude 1:24)
"knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. for he who is dead is freed from sin." (romans 6:6,7)
"therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death; that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the Glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. for if we have been planted together in the likeness of His death, we shall be also in the likeness of His resurrection." (Roman 6:4,5)
"i am crucifued with Christ; nevertheless i live; yet not i, but Christ lives in me; and the life which i now live in the flesh i live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Colossians 2:20)
it was a wonderful morning seeing my two youngest daughters publicly announce their faith in Jesus as they were baptized in water, representing the death of their old self; then raised from the water, representing their resurrected new life in Christ!
there has been a lot more people and noise around here this week than normal because of the blizzard that passed through here a few days ago. it is day three of snow days for the kids and even aaron did not have to go into work on wednesday. not only were my own kids home but they had extra friends around quite a bit too. josiah had some friends over on tuesday that got stuck here and had to spend the night. so we have definitely had a full house. but, that all ends tomorrow. snow days are over and school resumes.
it was kinda fun having everyone home and exited about the snow. there is always something exiting about thinking you might get snowed in, except when you run out of milk because the day before the storm hit, not one gallon of milk could be found anywhere around. i think everyone in our town thought that we were going to be snowed in for weeks instead of days. we did not actually run out of milk until last night, but we were rationing it for a couple of days. jacob pretty much got almost all of it, except a little here and there for some cereal. it's pretty funny how you really don't want something until you know you can't have it. everyone kept asking for milk. i felt like the milk police a couple of times. but milk is flowing here again today as aaron found some at the grocery store on his way home from work.
funny thing is i don't think anyone has asked for milk since we have had it in the refrigerator. :)
just some insights into my thoughts and feelings about my life and what God is revealing to me and how i am experiencing His grace and mercy in so many ways. please feel free to comment and share your heart here too. i'd love to hear from you. you never know whose life you just might touch with your insights as well.
My First Blog Entry March 27, 2009
laying my heart at the feet of Jesus well, here goes. not really sure how this is going to go but i do believe it is in my heart to begin to share some of the things that God is doing in my life and secrets that live in my heart. i've really been inspired by a blog that i have just begun to read by a young, sweet mommy (what she calls herself). happening upon her blog was not an accident but, i believe, a direction from the Lord. as i have read much of what she has written from her heart, i've been moved to tears and smiled a lot, enjoying partaking of what she has shared. wondering if anything that i have to share might move anyone as her writings have moved me, i thought that i just might let some of my heart be opened to those interested in hearing the secrets in the heart of a wife and mom who sometimes feels as if she might drown in the difficulties of raising five children if it weren't for my God who is ever so merciful and His Grace who is ever so powerful. as i write this, tears stream down my own face, thinking of some of the situations that i am laying at the feet of Jesus at this very moment in my life. this seems to make it plain to me that going forward with this new adventure of blogging may just be a way for God to continue to remind me of His love and His goodness toward me. open heart surgery, with God's love as the knife, that's kind of what it feels like. cutting away the dead, useless pieces and repairing it with His intense, unconditional love. i hope that a few people are touched and moved to sharing their lives as well by reading some of what i may reveal of myself as i continue to lay my heart at his feet and trust Him to keep it and make it whole.
i am a wife of 19 years to my wonderful husband, aaron. a mom of 6 precious children (josiah 17, rachel 16, olivia 14, amanda 12, jacob 3, & our newest addition, baby jonah, born may 18, 2011. my life is full and exciting as i depend upon God to empower me to take on the everyday tasks that are set before me. i love God with all my heart as He has revealed His amazing love for me. i love sharing many of the things He has shown me in a Bible study at my church. allowing Him to use me to unveil Truth is a very big part of my life. it is just all so "GOOD!"