baby boy rose

26 weeks
in his very flexible yoga position
i think he is a keeper!

sleep wins again

i am so hungry but i am so tired

so so tired! even that pink paci would do right now!

sleep wins again!!

a healed and uncrippled heart

it is kinda of amazing raising five kids and seeing how differently each and every one of them are. they all have certain strengths and weaknesses in their character and personality.  josiah is my strong, quiet son.  he usually will not offer up conversation to you on his own, but if you set out to ask him questions and get to know him and he knows that it is because you are really interested, he will open up and share his heart with you.  rachel is talkative, emotional and deep.  you really do not have to ask her much about herself.  she willingly offers up her heart and wisdom to anyone who will listen.  olivia is my strong willed child, which has its pros and cons.  she has a strength about her that is immovable.  you might call it determination on the positive side or it could just be called stubborn. i can truly see God using this part of her to accomplish great things as she continues to grow up.  amanda is more like josiah in that she is mostly quiet.  but, she has a silly side that causes us all to laugh really hard sometimes. she does not talk a whole lot but when she does, she usually talks really fast so she can get it all in before someone interrupts her.  i think that is the result of living in a large family with lots of people having something to say. and jacob, i think he is going to be our most social child of all.  he is friendly and says hi to everyone.  he likes to do silly things and make us all laugh too, which happens a lot.  it will be interesting to meet our newest addition to our family soon and watch him as his personality develops as well.

each one of my children are definitely different and unique in their own way.  but, they all also have one thing in common, along with every other person ever born. they want and need to be unconditionally loved and adored, a need that if not met is crippling.  the problem with that is many times i see them looking for that adoration and acceptance from others who are in need of the same thing themselves and are incapable of offering it up.  even as their mom, i can find myself so involved in their behavior that the joy and satisfaction i have within my heart for them gets lost in communication.  so, it is important that they do not look only to me or their dad to meet that need either.  there is only One who can offer that unconditional adoration perfectly and that is their Heavenly Father.  despite their behavior and in the midst of everything, He longs to shower them with the joy that His heart feels for them.  He thinks they are wonderful and beautiful!!  He rejoices over them and sings over them!!  they bring Him great satisfaction and delight because and only because they are His children! His thoughts of great delight never cease because His satisfaction comes only from Who He is and who He has made them to be, His beautiful creation, His children!  "the Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior (Who saves)!  He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest (in silent satisfaction) and in His love He will be silent and make no mention (of past sins, or even recall them); He will exult over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17)

as they, as well as myself, come to know that Truth deeper and deeper in our hearts, we will be able to function as whole persons, able to pass along that same kind of acceptance toward others instead of craving it from them.  i long for my kids to walk in the capacity of health and security that God created and desires for all of us to.  i want to see them rise and walk out a happy and successful life.   it breaks my heart when i see them crippled by a lack of understanding of God's unconditional love for them. so, i pray that God will continue to open their eyes and my own and help us to understand His ecstatic heart of joy that He feels for us every minute of every day so that need is met in us. then, we can be whole and experience the benefits of living as a child of God with...
 
a healed and uncrippled heart!  

"now to Him Who is able to keep you without stumbling or slipping or falling, and to present you unblemished (blameless and faultless) before the presence of His glory in triumphant joy and exultation (with unspeakable, ecstatic delight)." (Jude 1:24)

we once were dead but now we live

"knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. for he who is dead is freed from sin." (romans 6:6,7)

"therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death; that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the Glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. for if we have been planted together in the likeness of His death, we shall be also in the likeness of His resurrection." (Roman 6:4,5)

"i am crucifued with Christ; nevertheless i live; yet not i, but Christ lives in me; and the life which i now live in the flesh i live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Colossians 2:20)

it was a wonderful morning seeing my two youngest daughters publicly announce their faith in Jesus as they were baptized in water, representing the death of their old self;  then raised from the water, representing their resurrected new life in Christ!

we once were dead but now we live!!

 

we've defintiely got a full house, but where's the milk?

there has been a lot more people and noise around here this week than normal because of the blizzard that passed through here a few days ago.  it is day three of snow days for the kids and even aaron did not have to go into work on wednesday.  not only were my own kids home but they had extra friends around quite a bit too.  josiah had some friends over on tuesday that got stuck here and had to spend the night. so we have definitely had a full house. but, that all ends tomorrow.  snow days are over and school resumes.  


it was kinda fun having everyone home and exited about the snow.  there is always something exiting about thinking you might get snowed in, except when you run out of milk because the day before the storm hit, not one gallon of milk could be found anywhere around. i think everyone in our town thought that we were going to be snowed in for weeks instead of days. we did not actually run out of milk until last night, but we were rationing it for a couple of days. jacob pretty much got almost all of it, except a little here and there for some cereal.  it's pretty funny how you really don't want something until you know you can't have it.  everyone kept asking for milk. i felt like the milk police a couple of times. but milk is flowing here again today as aaron found some at the grocery store on his way home from work.


funny thing is i don't think anyone has asked for milk since we have had it in the refrigerator. :)

o the things he learns from them

i guess if that is the worse thing he learns from them, i am a very blessed mom!

only the believer who knows, grows

understanding the difference between position and condition is absolutely necessary for every believer to live in the victory that Jesus provided for us. being ignorant of this concept has not only limited our understanding of the Scriptures, but has also directly impacted our spiritual growth and success at overcoming sins and weaknesses in our lives. the idea that once we are established in the faith, we no longer need to concentrate on position but we should move on and focus on our progress in our Christian life or our condition, is the trap that the enemy sets before us to actually keep us from living empowered in our position bearing the fruit of the Spirit.  from what I’ve seen in the lives of the average believer, as well as my own life, focusing on the condition of our lives has not resulted in progress, but defeat.

our position in Christ is the result of the completed work of Christ. Christ’s work is finished and cannot change, therefore our position in Christ cannot change. it is perfect and complete, and is ours from the moment we believed in Christ as Savior. there is no difference positionally between the weakest believer and the strongest saint, the new convert and the mature, or the carnal Christian and the spiritual.  our condition, on the other hand, is usually very different from our position. our condition is where we are at in our Christian walk, the degree to which our life reflects our position in Christ or does not.  it is our holiness of character, level of maturity, and degree of obedience at any given time.

according to the author, miles stanford, "all spiritual growth is based upon the principle of position. our position, the source of our Christian life, is perfect. it is eternally established in the Father’s presence. the Holy Spirit created us in the position that was established through His work at Calvary. the Christian who comes to see his position in the Lord Jesus begins to experience the benefit of all that he is in Him. although our position remains immutable, our condition is variable. through the exercise of faith in our position because of His finished work, our eternal position affects our daily condition, but in no way does our condition affect that heavenly position.

when we concentrate on our condition, we are not living by faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ but by our circumstances, feelings and appearances. the inevitable result is that we become increasingly self-conscious and self-centered and we fail to live in the power of our position "in Christ."  our only responsibility is to pay attention to the Lord Jesus, to rest in Him as our position. we will then see spiritual growth and experience the  power and victory over sin that our position entitles us. “so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor 4:18)

in most cases, we are more aware of our condition rather than our position. this is the reason for so much failure and stagnation in our lives. if we are to grow and become fruitful, our faith must be anchored in the finished work of our position in Christ. there is no basis for faith in our changeable, unfinished condition (1 Cor. 2:5). if we do not know of our position in the Lord Jesus, and how to abide in Him as our very life, there will be but one result. we will struggle in our un-Christlike condition rather than rest in our Christ-centered position.

every Christian has been positioned forever in Christ at our spiritual birth.  it is faith in the truth of our position that empowers us and gives us the daily benefits of change and growth in our condition. if we are not clearly aware of the specific truths of the Word, we will not exercise the necessary faith for growth and service. we will only seek our resources for changing our condition within the realm of our own selves.  Scriptural, fact-centered faith in the Lord Jesus as our position before the Father is the one and only means of experiencing that finished work in our daily condition, which is why it is absolutely vital that we know our position before God."

"only the believer who knows, grows!!"

"my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...." (hosea 4:6)

(Miles Stanford, "Foundations of Spiritual Growth", in the larger book "The Complete Green Letters") 

happy birthday to my momma

you're a wonderful mom!

perfect peace

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have (perfect peace and confidence.)  in the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer (take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted)!  for i have overcome the world.    john 16:33

in this world we will have hard times, 
but where can we find our peace?

a perfect change in circumstances? 
a perfect change in people?
a perfect job?
a perfect place?

or a perfect Savior who has already overcome the world?!!

through it all, perfect peace is only found in Jesus!

today's after school snack

a few weeks ago i made some muffins for the kids to eat when they came home from school.  jacob loved them and has been asking for more muffins since then.  so i looked up some different muffin recipes.  i thought this one sounded pretty good and somewhat healthy. they turned out to be a hit so i thought i would share them.


apricot oat muffins

2 c. flour
1/2 c. quick-cooking oats
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. sugar
3 t. baking powder
2 t. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 t. salt
1-1/2 c. fat free milk
1/3 c. canola oil
1 egg
3/4 c. chopped dried apricots
1/2 c. chopped walnuts

in a bowl, combine the flour, oats, sugars, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice and salt.  in another bowl, combine milk, oil, and egg until blended; stir into dry ingredients just until blended.  fold in the apricots and walnuts.  fill greased muffin cups about 2/3 full.  bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.  cool for 5 minutes before removing from pan.  it makes about 15 muffins.

one muffin equals about 216 calories, 7 g fat, 14 mg cholesterol, 149 mg sodium, 32 g carbohydrates, 1 g fiber, and 4 g protein

(Taste of Home's "Quick Cooking" Jan/Feb 2003)

i look like my Father!

i completely remember the moment each one of my children were born into this world and that instantaneous love that overwhelmed my heart.  each one was so tiny and innocent and completely dependent upon me to love and take care of them.  i welcomed that opportunity with great anticipation even though they had not done one thing to create that desire in me except to be born as mine. "perfect! completely and beautifully perfect!" that is what my thoughts were toward them from their very first breath.  i was thrilled to be their mommy!  i think back on those moments and am amazed at how that can be.  how can a momma have such instantaneous love for her children? 

what brought about that overwhelming feeling in my heart for them?  the only thing that caused that intense love for them was that they were born and they were mine.  they were MY children!  they did not earn my love.  they had not done anything to earn it, except cry, which seemed to make the fondness of my heart even more intense for them.

i think having children of my own makes me to understand more of the heart of my Heavenly Father.  sometimes, it is easy for me to forget that He has the same feelings toward me that i have toward my children. He loves me intensely!  not because i have done anything to make Him love me but just because i am HIS!! "perfect! completely and beautifully perfect!" that is His thoughts toward me.  He is thrilled to be my Father and thrilled that i am completely dependent upon Him to love and take care of me!

i remember one of the first things that i did when my children were born was to look them over and see who i thought that they looked like.  looking for the resemblances that showed they were the creation of the union of aaron and i, i noticed that rachel had the shape of my eyes and amanda had her daddy's eyes, josiah and jacob had their daddy's nose and olivia looked like my mom's side of the family.  it was so fun trying to look and find the proof in their little bodies that showed they were ours.  once again, they did not do anything to make themselves look like us.  they just did because they were created from us. as each one has grown, more and more resemblances of both aaron and i arise in them.  even their expressions, the way they walk, and how they talk begin to resemble us. there is no doubt about it, they are our children!  they look and act like us!

i know my Heavenly Father looks to see Himself in me as well. To Him, i look just like HIM!! the Holy Spirit in me is proof that i am His child and the promise to me that i will begin to resemble Him more and more everyday as I depend upon Him to be my Daddy and allow Him to take care of every aspect of my life.

there is no doubt about it
i am His daughter and......

i look like my Father!!!

"you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.  instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as His own children.  now we call him, "Abba Father."  for His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children.  and since we are His children, we are his heirs.  in fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory." (Romans 8:15-17)

baaaaaa, got milk?

"oh yes you do!!!"

"yes you do!"

"mmmm milk!!"

"you got milk too?"

"we like you a lot!!"

remembering a fun part of a family day we had last fall!

every child is planned!

we recently told our kids that we were going to be adding another member to our family.  i recorded the whole scene and i am so glad that i did.  it is a memory that i want to remember every detail of.  the scene took place Christmas day.  we saved one last gift for the kids to open at the very end of the day.  they were all very excited and could not imagine what the gift could be.  we all laughed a lot as they unwrapped and discovered what the very last gift was. we all discussed our thoughts about a new baby becoming a part of our family.  it was very interesting seeing how each kid processed the acquired information and the stages their thought processes went through.  if you are interested in watching it, you can view it here.  i have watched it at least a dozen times already and i laugh until i am crying every time.

one of the things that we talked and laughed about was whether or not we planned this baby.  of course, the answer was "uhmmmm, no! not planned! but welcomed!"  the only one of our children that was actually planned was josiah, who was our first.  he is the only one that we actually said, "let's have a baby," and soon thereafter he was here.  aaron and i laughed about how we did not have much time to think about or plan any of the other ones.  our first four kids were all born by the time josiah was five years old.  needless to say, after amanda, our fourth, was born, we began to plan a little bit.  but the plan was prevention! which worked for about nine years, until jacob came along. :)

i say that they weren't planned but that is only partially true because they were planned even if it wasn't by us.  they were planned by God!  He planned them!  He destined them into our family!  and we just received them for what they were, gifts from God!!  isn't it amazing to think that there is no child that was ever born that was not planned.  God planned us all!  He destined us all to be born into this world and He destined us all to be born into His family also.  "for He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ." (ephesians 1:5)

every child has been destined and planned to have the best Father!

every child is planned!!

you look the way i feel

poor cow!!  you look the way that i feel!

i'm feeling really fat today!
not sure if it is the nearly 1 lb baby boy i am nurturing or the nearly 1 lb of ribs i ate that just nurtured me!
or maybe it's both!!  :)

look a distraction!

have you ever noticed that when it seems like you are entering a deeper level of revelation in Christ and God is showing Himself big to you that it seems like all hell breaks loose somewhere in your life? a few years ago i was enjoying a place in my life with the Lord that was so sweet.  i felt like He was revealing deep and intimate truths to my heart and the result of the time spent with Him seemed to cause every area of my life to blossom. my relationship with my husband seemed sweeter, everything was going well with parenting at the time, and my friendships were very enjoyable. it just seemed like life was so good in every way.

then one day i noticed something out of the ordinary that peaked my curiosity and caused me some concern.  i began to investigate more into the issue and the more i sought clarity with it, the more consumed i became to get to the bottom of it all.  in the meantime, everything that seemed to be so sweet in my life was teetering.  i recognized right away how differently things seemed to be in my heart and in my relationships.  i noticed i had lost my peace and was beginning to feel overwhelmed. but, i really wanted to figure this issue out.   i asked the Lord to help me because i knew that i was not experiencing the Life that He had provided for me and i was wondering why.  His answer to me was simple, quick, and absolute. "christy, this issue is just a distraction!"

oh my goodness! i saw it! in an instant, i realized that the enemy had set a trap for me to fall into, a distraction trap!  i had lost my focus on what was important! HIM!!! and, i began to focus on something minor that only brought me frustration! i recognized and saw the whole thing from His perspective and turned my focus back to the One that brought me such peace.  i immediately began to experience the Life that was so sweet in every area of my life once again.

the one thing that the enemy hates the most is when we actually begin to experience the blessings of our salvation in every area of our lives.  he hates it when we are happy.  he hates it when we live in peace with God and one another "in Christ."  he hates it when we are so focused on Christ that we actually begin to live in the blessings that He has provided for us.  and, as soon as he gets a chance, he begins to look for ways to cleverly release his weapons of mass distraction toward us.  his goal is to get us to look away from Jesus and the Truth and get focused on anything else.  it seems like most of the time he succeeds.  i think that we are easily distracted because we have not become convinced of the Truth of the goodness of God and His power to care for us and because of that, the things in this world seem bigger to us than God Himself.

when i look back at that situation, i thank God for the lesson that i learned in that time period of my life.  i have definitely been distracted away from keeping my heart solely on Jesus since then.  but, it seems that i have learned to catch the traps quicker now.  i have recognized the symptoms of the traps of distraction.  those symptoms show up in my soul where my thoughts and my emotions reside.  if i pay attention to my thoughts and emotions, i can recognize whether i have become distracted or not.  stress, anxiety, and frustration reveal evidence of being distracted from the Truth of what Jesus says about me and every situation that i encounter.  peace, joy, and rest reveal evidence of a solid focus on Him.

so really, what we all need is an anchor for our soul so that it can become single focused and not be easily distracted. Jesus is that anchor! He is the Truth! a deeper revelation of who He is and His great plan for our lives will make Truth so plain and clear to us that we will quickly recognize the weapon of distraction and render it powerless. when the enemy plants a trap before us, we will be able to recognize it and say, "look a distraction!" and avoid the pitfalls that he intended us to fall into.  when we really know the Truth, the lies are quickly recognized and our soul remains stable, confident and secure experiencing the fruit of remaining focused on Jesus.


"so God has given both his promise and his oath.  these two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie.  therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.  this hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls."  hebrews 6:18,19